espresso yourself 01/11/2009

With teary eyes and wine stained lips, her balance beam timbers and her scale tips. I don’t want to get sucked into the victimized selfish muck of negativity and be another contemporary fool, but more like my ancestors because their hard earned wisdom humbles me. Though I’m told living in the past will make my life harder, yet living in the future will only do the same. So we are to live in today and say, “I am.”

What the fuck ever! I love diversity, you diverse me emotionally. Baby, s’next? Time to get the mop and bucket? Life is short, so fuck it. I met a man from Nantucket and he loved it. So did I because I love the higher high… that “baba fat” knows about. (http://www.subgenius.com/updates/5-99news/X0028_The_Perfect_High.html)
Don’t doubt I’ve cleansed my soul and I wish other to know this tranquil, serene feeling. From the floor to the ceiling understand the meaning… of my life. Survive the night terrors, fight affairs and annoying situations. Tolerate the fucking spaces between those faces and bad breath. Yet she wept as happiness overwhelmed her cup of lovelies. I don’t want to be serious but sometimes the scale tilts that way. Baybay, you blow my mind and I’m not quite sure what to feel but I know I like it and I want eternity of such entertainment. I’ll do what I can to return the favor ‘cause I’m clownin’ like that. I love good times and you remind me of it because we make the kind that doesn’t slip my mind. Throughout the passing time I want to hold your mental hand. You can reprimand my curiosity but I hate cats and we all die eventually. So love yourself and love your skin. Love your being from deep within, all your flaws and best yet your strengths. Defeat your fears and exceed the fullest length. 10,000 hours, so be it. Love yourself until the end of it, but there will always be silly materials to set us apart. Now I’m more confused than ever, hearing fire trucks and police cars. I’m actually glad it isn’t for me, though it is sometimes hard to be an artist in production. I lost my creative function as I bit my tongue and said I loved him. Those fucking jumper cables! Waiting in a cold vehicle. Impatiently counting the seconds faster than the actual tick-tock of a wall clock or wrist watch. The knocking of the engine played out a beat that coincidently matched the pulsing of my heart. Closing my eyes, I lost track of time and fell into the music of my mind. With my soul at ease I took a look around at all the snow on the ground and bushes. A few weeks before my mother pointed out that there were still leaves on the trees. She believes this is because winter came quickly and froze these leaves before they had a chance to fall. It was at this particular moment I was overcome with a sense of adoration and I guess it was appreciation. I found the contrast of the dead leaves deep amber against the clean white snow to be simply breath taking. These leaves seemed to carry a significant message to those seeking encouragement, “just hold on.”